Old Geezers Out to Lunch

Old Geezers Out to Lunch
The Geezers Emeritus through history: The Mathematician™, Dr. Golf™, The Professor™, and Mercurious™

Monday, December 30, 2013

Citizens of 4F, December 30, 2013

This was an unusual day for 3-year-old Frankie, a regular passenger on the morning north-bound 4F bus into downtown Minneapolis.

Frankie and his mother board the bus near the start of its run, in the inner ring suburb of Richfield, and so they are already seated when the bus reaches my stop, which is at the point where the bus just enters crosses the city boundary into  Minneapolis proper on its morning run into downtown. 

Today was different because Frankie was a happy child,  an unusual state of affairs for him. After many dozens of mornings watching him and his young mother, I've concluded that Frankie probably lives with one of the conditions commonly identified as being on the austism/asberger's spectrum. My wife, who worked in the public school system, tells me that it's now the standard theory that attention-deficit disorders also are related to this spectrum, so I'm assuming at the very least, Frankie suffers from a very severe case of attention deficit. 

On most days, his face wears a constant expression of troubled consternation, as though he lives in perpetual conflict with his own nature. Looking out the window of the bus offers him no more than a few seconds of focus, and neither can he be occupied with any of the books or games that his mother provides him on the bus ride. His squirming is constant, and it is rare that he is at peace for more than a few seconds at a time. He is really not disruptive to other passengers, but neither is his mother ever able to do anything but tend his constant needs. His little forehead is almost always furrowed in emotional discomfort.

His mother is very young—certainly no more than 20 or 21, and perhaps even younger, and it's to her credit that I've never seen her lose her temper with Frankie. She is so young that it's possible the Aladdin backpack she carries with Frankie is not her son's at all, but is an artifact of her own recent childhood. 

Today, though, Frankie is for the first time a bit more like other little boys. This morning is the exception that proves the rule.  Beneath his parka, he wears a tee-shirt that says "Hey Dude, Your Girlfriend Keeps Checking Me Out," Frankie sits on his mother's lap facing backwards toward me; I'm two rows behind them.  When Frankie catches my eye, he begins to play the familiar hide-and-seek game that's common to most kids.  He moves his head behind his mother, blocking his view of me, then pops his head back to see me once again.  As soon as my eyes shift back to meet his again, he breaks into a quietly delighted smile.  It pleases him enormously to see our shared recognition of one another. 

The game goes on for nearly 15 minutes—a period of focus virtually unheard of for Frankie. When Frankie and his mother get up to leave the bus at the Lake St. connection, she glances back and smiles at me.  It pleases her to see Frankie occasionally behave like a typical child; it may give her hope for his future. Frankie, too, smiles at me over his Mom's shoulder as they leave the bus, and I wonder if he will develop the skill to remember these occasional calm moments at those frequent times when his awareness again begins to vibrate out of control. 

11 comments:

  1. My 21-year-old grandson is "on the spectrum" - an Aspie, as the higher functioning children are frequently labeled. Before he was properly diagnosed as autistic, he was diagnosed as, and prescribed medication usually given to children with, ADD/ADHD. Unfortunately for my grandson, the chemicals in those drugs were not what he needed and set him back for several years.

    Once properly diagnosed, and properly medicated, he began doing well, though he will never be able to live without some supervisory care. If Frankie is autistic, and from the way you describe his behavior, I think he is and is likely on the Asperger's end of the curve, there is every hope, realistic hope, that he will acquire enough social and other skills that he will be able to live independently. One of the best things he has going for him is his loving, understanding, patient and caring mother. Living with a child on the spectrum is exhausting, yet exhilarating as you watch them develop and come to understand that the brain which makes him/her fidgety is at work processing information, reacting to stimuli and making myriad decisions at a speed you and I have the potential for, but may never reach. We, by the way, are referred to as neurotypicals by those on the spectrum.

    Thank you for writing this lovely portrait of Frankie and his mother. Know, too, that your response to Frankie is beneficial to them both - and to my Boo-boo and me.

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  2. Let us hope that you were the medium by which great things will be achieved.

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  3. I believe the general public is more aware of autistic behaviors and, hopefully, more accepting of the behaviors. At my youngest granddaughter's concert featuring bleacher seating, a young mother next to me asked if I would be able to make way quickly if necessary to allow her and her daughter to leave, but she hoped to see another child perform in the first band. We made arrangements and the performance went on. Toward the end her child became agitated. There were some loud vocalizations and some scratching, which the mother calmly restrained. Others in the bleachers looked around and looked back with no visible approbation. The band ended it's performance, the mother and daughter slipped quietly past and were gone. My heart was sad for the young woman and her complicated life, between a child who could play in the band and one who could not.

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  4. He's lucky to have such a caring mother. And good for you for doing what you can to brighten his, and his mother's, day. :)

    S

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  5. Your playing of the game - and not doing what some would do; hide behind a paper and not come out - is what makes the world a nicer place to be in. Frankie got benefit from it and so did you. Win-Win!

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  6. What a lovely little moment on the 4. :-)

    Pearl

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  7. You describe a moment of common life rich with poignancy and real humanity. A beautiful moment pregnant with hope.

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  8. A similar thing happened with me and an unattended child at work. The game went on for a few minutes and I don't remember which one of us had the bigger smile.

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  9. You've obviously been paying attention to Frankie for quite some time. The response you got from him goes far to prove my own unscientific theory that love and empathy are feelings that make direct connections with children.

    One of my favorite books is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon who worked with autism spectrum children for a number of years. In the book he presents the world as it appears from the point of view of a young man who has Aspergers. He's a fascinating and very loveable character.

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  10. Nice writing and a hopeful story!

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