As if in a salute to an bygone era, the gods of the on-line Risk gaming world have finally smiled upon the downtrodden, yet victorious Professor. With his trademark substance-over-form approach, our hero turned back the unleashed hounds of the cunning Mathematician. In a man-on-man faceoff, the bullying tactics of the the Mathematician left the Professor unfazed and steadfast in his refusal to "carry the water."
Played to completion in a virtual fog to those on-hand, the analog Professor emerged the victor. The final stage of this game was remarkable for the lack of two of its finest champions, a fact hopefully not lost on Mercurious, whose uninspired play and wishy-washy approach to this game left Dr. Golf, perhaps the game's finest player, exposed to the brutish Mathematician. One can only hope that Mercurious, once considered the conscience of the game and a steward and connoisseur of fine play and technique, will return to form and play like the man his fellow competitors once admired.
This week's winner, the Professor; and the runner-up, the
In an ironic twist, the Professor was not present at the award ceremonies. As rumor had it, the good fellow was reportedly spotted Christmas shopping along the streets of Norwich during the week leading up to Thanksgiving, all the while spouting profanity at the shopkeepers for their heathen disregard for all things decent and for selling Christmas merchandise to the lowly, laggardly likes of himself. It's a hell of a holiday note for us all.