I do this with some deliberateness, as there is nothing so happy-making for me as the sensation of laying quietly in bed and listening to the happy chatter of this family of mine off in a nearby room. It gives me the sensation of having created something of value that now nurtures me. And it provides with a sense of connectedness that is not all that common for me.
I am by nature a pretty introverted person, a quality that probably arose in me originally out of a need to protect myself from people who could be angry and cruel. It's rather ingrained in me, and to this day I never feel quite so free as when I'm entirely alone and don't have to worry about other people needing me or being critical in some way.
But that protective measure, though it may prevent some measure of unhappiness, also compromises my happiness, because it's quite clear that being connected to other people is crucial to the human experience of happiness. Though I often very much want to be alone, I would be quite miserable if I ever truly got my wish.
But what a delightful thing to lay in bed with a satisfied fatigue, knowing that the shelter I've provided offers a place for my family to enjoy themselves and their friends together. The happiness I know as I fall asleep is the happiness of connectedness.
