Mr. Shaw, a longtime acquaintance of your editor, is an astute, amateur movie critic as well as a a writer of his own screenplays. He is a former rabble-rouser who came of age in the late 1960's, back when rabble activity was truly rousing. He retains a good measure of the contentiousness of that long-ago period, though is now notably softened by grandfatherhood.
When asked to provide a profile, Mr. Shaw chose to describe himself with a bullet list that harkens back to the format in which centerfolds in Playboy magazine once described themselves:
• Favorite Author: John Updike
• Favorite Poet: Bob Dylan
• Favorite Contemporary Musical Group: Old Crow Medical Show
• Favorite Musical Group from Back-in-the Day: The Amazing Rhythm Aces
• Favorite Movie: The Big Lebowski
• Dream Date (if I wasn't married): Penelope Cruz
• Favorite Activity (when not dating Penelope Cruz): Playing in the lake with the grandkids.
Please welcome "Since George Shaw" for what we hope is the first of many essays on these pages—the editor.
A couple of years ago, I turned 65 and went on Medicare. I chose Medica as my supplement plan, and shortly after, in the mail, I received a lengthy questionnaire (6 -8 pages regarding my health status (not sure if this was from Medicare or Medica). Among the 60 questions were roughly 8 different questions related to whether or not I was depressed —not an unreasonable line of inquiry for a 65 year-old man. But there was not one question even remotely related to my sex-life. I am not an expert here, but I think there might be a relationship between the health of one's sex-life, and depression, especially for an old man.
At my annual physical, my primary-care doc, an attractive young woman who carefully examines my scrotum and anus, asks me all kinds of questions about alcohol, drugs, and whether I "feel safe at home," but none about my sex-life. One time I asked her if she was at all curious about my sex-life (which, by the way, is perfectly "normal" for a guy who has been married 45 years man, i.e., a couple times a week when my wife isn't pissed off at me for not taking out the garbage or something). My doc didn't answer yes or no, but was clearly uncomfortable with my question and quickly changed the subject.
Last fall, I had a pinched nerve which eventually led to surgery and lots of physical therapy at Park Nicollet clinic in Minneapolis. At every PT appointment, I was required to fill out a form. One of the sections on this form asks questions related to difficulty, from "severe" to "not a problem," with about a dozen "basic life activities." None of these activities involve sex.
I asked my PT why not. He explained that the list focuses on the "most common" activities. The list includes opening a jar of pickles and tying a necktie. I gave up ties when I retired, and I like pickles as much as the next guy, but....seriously?
"Attractive young woman" is in the eye of the beholder. Meet Eva Braun, all-star of proctology. |
I doubt that my experience, with Medica & Park Nicollet is uncommon. But given the close relationship between sexual health and overall health I think it is indicative of a huge gap in our health care system. It amazes me that my health care professionals are so squeamish about a basic life function.
Many friends our age say the same thing—their doctors, usually considerably younger—seem exceedingly embarrassed to talk sex with them.
ReplyDeleteOddly, my doc—a guy who was a real youngster when I started seeing him, but is now decidedly middle-aged (how the hell did that happen?), actually talks about sex pretty freely. But it's always with a little trepidation, as if he's looking for insight as to what awaits him as he turns into a Geezer himself.
SGS
ReplyDeleteIt's just that you've been seeing the wrong docs.....make an appt with a Urologist, they'll make up for all the questions the Family Practice docs didn't ask.
(signed)
Pro Bono Doc
Or Pain Management. They are very curious how the pain being managed interferes with a whole lot of activities, including sex. The add up all the ones to tens and divide by the number of questions. Now that was where I put the whole questionnaire down to an exercise to pass the time until the doctor finally appears.
ReplyDeleteAn 85 year old buddy with whom I have coffee a couple of days a week likes to tell this ditty. "Last night my wife said to me 'let's go up stairs and have sex'. I said 'You choose. I can do only one of those!'"
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see that Since George Shaw is working to bring the neglected issue of retired male sexuality into the public square for discussion.
Since George Shaw appears to be a healthy addition to the Geezers. (Take that any way you want to.)
ReplyDeleteThere is still fire in this old geezer! Good music selections, too.
ReplyDeleteLate to the party, but I am very in on this discussion. A urologist is the way to go. With prostate cancer (cured) mine was all over it.
ReplyDelete